So I vanquished my General Exam on Friday, which was a great thing. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to relax at all this weekend. I haven’t had a day off in forever, and I feel like I should be doing something, always. Worse, I’m stuck in this place of over analyzing every conversation I had on Friday between 10 a.m. and 10 p.m. So much anxiety. I’m even giving myself nightmares. I do this to an extent after cons as well–I think it has to do with being out of my comfort zone. Regardless, I look forward to my social editor turning off in a couple of days.In a way, this General Exam thing is more challenging than the final exam/dissertation defense. If anyone had major problems with my work, Friday would have been the day to bring it up. Fortunately that didn’t happen, and my committee has cleared me for finishing up my Ph.D. in the next 9ish months, assuming I do all the things I just promised to do.
I read this article over on io9, and Eugene Fischer’s comments really resonated with me. Without a doubt my day job has the potential to improve the world and expand the boundaries of scientific understanding … and yet, writing is what brings me joy. Both careers are fulfilling in different ways, so maybe it’s a good thing that I can’t afford to quit my day job anytime soon. And yet, the tug of war is there, and it complicates my choices. Knowing that I’ll be looking for a new job in less than a year freaks me out. I have mixed feelings about leaving Seattle to chase down a prestigious academic post.
I eventually decided that being good at something didn’t mean you had an obligation to actually do it … You don’t have to maximize along the axis of what contribution would be the most good for the most people, you actually are making a contribution by being a passionate person creating things.” ~ Eugene Fischer on io9
And finally, I made a bit of progress on the new novel and set goals for finishing the first draft by the end of the year.